I’m sure you’re a great parent. And you absolutely love your kid.
But have you noticed — especially as he gets older — that even with your awesomeness, and the incredible amount of love you have for him, that it can be super-challenging to maintain a close and respectful relationship when a conflict emerges between you?
Every attempt to control the situation — and your kid — ends in total frustration.
Y’know, very few of us have had any real training in relationship skills, especially for parenting.
When he was little, it seemed like parenting effectively was second-nature. Or at the very least, it was easier then than it is now.
Hey, guess what? Now he’s learned what all your buttons are, and how easy it is to push them.
He’s wanting independence. At the same time, he needs to know he’s loved and accepted unconditionally. That you believe in him, as a soon-to-be-adult who’ll have the desires, skills and confidence to create a happy life of his choosing.
If you’ve begun feeling frustrated and inadequately prepared . . .
If you’d like to have more confidence, and feel good about guiding and mentoring him . . .
If you feel like he’s gotten way too practiced in pushing your buttons, while you grasp at anything to feel in control, which in turn may weaken an already strained relationship . . .
If you’d like to learn ways to teach responsibility and mutual respect, and can imagine working together with him . . .
we can help.
And all without punishing, rewarding or bribing.
It’s absolutely not too late. First, begin by doing this very simple thing:
take 30 minutes by yourself and write a list of everything you love about him.
Write everything you can possibly think of that you appreciate about him . . . physical attributes, personality, intelligence, curiosity, playfulness, freedom-loving, thoughtfulness, gentleness . . . you can think of many more. Keep looking for all the positive you can find.
Fill the page.
Then, see how you feel about him right now. This one exercise, this “rampage of appreciation,” can profoundly change your relationship (and it begins with how YOU feel).
Later, share some of the items that came to your mind with him.
He’ll always be your child.
Strengthen your relationship now. You DO want a closer, more cooperative and loving relationship with him right now, and on into his adult life.
If you’re now ready to go deeper, learn new tools and effectively apply them to the issues that are currently making you crazy — and feeling so bad — check out our parenting programs.
Please share in the comment section below your experience with the “rampage of appreciation”. Give it a try sometime when you’ve had some argument or conflict with your partner. It’s amazing.
If you liked this post, please share it with someone you think might appreciate it.
And don’t forget . . .
it’s ALL about the relationship.