Teaching leadership to teens

The author of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, said that leadership is “. . . the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal”.

So, IS there a way to teach this art of persuasion to your teen?

You bet.  You must

provide your son or daughter with opportunities to practice being the leader.

Having a regular family meeting is a perfect place to begin because it’s a great way to solve problems, or plan a family adventure. Continue reading

Acknowledging feelings

It’s very important  to encourage your child to talk to you about his or her feelings. Emotions are actually our personal guidance system, which we can learn to use to help make decisions and choices.

Get this straight:

FEELINGS (emotions) are not the same thing as THOUGHTS.

Feelings come as a result of a thought, and are felt in our bodies.

Many parents grew up in homes where feelings were not validated.  Probably because — unless the feelings were happy/joyful/loving ones — negative feelings didn’t feel good. Parents didn’t know how to handle it. It was uncomfortable. Continue reading

It’s a Saturnalia Miracle –

Okay, the holiday season is upon us.  There’s Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, St. Lucia Day, and Christmas — the commercial event of the year.my photos013-1

As a kid growing up in St. Louis, and attending church with my family, I’ve always enjoyed the festiveness leading up to Christmas and then New Year’s.  And, being a kid, I attempted to sort it all out by asking questions.  Questions that usually resulted in a puzzled look from the adult I was asking.  Probably because they had no real, believable, answer.

I bet you get some of the same questions, like . . .

  • Are Jesus and Santa Claus related?
  • How does Santa deliver presents to every kid in the world in just one night?
  • Did Jesus have a Christmas tree?
  • How old is Santa and how long have he and Mrs. Claus been married?
  • What’s a Yule log?
  • Did Jesus have a white Christmas?
  • How do we know that Jesus was really born on December 25, did he get a birth certificate too?

And then there’s Frosty the Snowman, Santa’s elves and flying reindeer, including that red-nosed one, Rudolph — just adding to the confusion.

Continue reading

Teen dating abuse and violence

We cannot assume that because our relationship with our partner is healthy and respectful, that our kids will automatically know what’s healthy and respectful when it comes to using technology.

Because we didn’t have cell phones when we were dating. We didn’t text each other back and forth.

There are a whole new set of dating “rules” because of technology.

Bringing yourself up to speed on these issues has got to be priority.  Then you must teach your child, hopefully beginning before they’re dating, how to set limits, and to clearly define what they’re wanting in a dating relationship (what they want, not you), and how important it is for them to pay attention to how they’re feeling when they get texts, and other communication, from their dating partner.

Here’s a 20 minute video that I found enlightening.  A well-spent 20 minutes.

You might also want to visit The Date Safe Project and also learn about the “red flags” in Break the Cycle.

Continue reading