A Secret for Parents of (Confused and Hormonal) Teens
A mom and her teenage daughter had a fight, and the daughter said, “I can’t wait to get outta here and have a place of my own!” Mom resisted the urge to say, “You ungrateful little B#&$%!”, but instead she recognized an opportunity and said, “Yeah, that WOULD be great! I wonder how much an apartment would cost?”
So Mom and daughter spent some time researching costs of setting up an apartment. They ended up getting daughter a bank account, which helped her feel powerful and more self-reliant.
Your turn. Remember when the challenge was to get your toddler to eat vegetables?
Now, instead of pulling away from the table, he’s pulling away from you . . . and turning toward his friends (who are just as hormonal and confused as he is)
and you start feeling like a failure in this parenting job.
So the secret — and it’s not that hard to do — is to teach your teenager to rely on himself. While there’s time. (he’s still living at home)
Wait. Another story: A Mom and son were experiencing bigtime difficulties in their relationship. The son was rude, disrespectful, often didn’t come home at night and was failing a couple of classes.
I asked Mom, “What can you do to help him feel powerful and valuable to you?”
After doing some brainstorming with her, Mom decided to ask her son to help with the accounting at her floral shop. Her son had been good at math and she really needed the help.
Her son gradually took over the accounting. She noticed improvement in her son’s grades. Plus, they began to enjoy being together and had things to talk about! Wow! By his senior year, the son was doing the accounting for all three of her shops.
I challenge you to find a way for your teenager to feel more powerful.
Teach him how to cook, do laundry, sew on a button, set up his own appointments, earn/save money, etc.
Then . . . ask him to teach YOU something.
Surely he’s more tech savvy, right? What could he teach you about your iPhone or iPad?
Then, I wanna hear the creative ways you encouraged him to be self-reliant. Share your success by leaving a comment below.